Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.
Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?
Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics,those are the ones to work for.
Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK?I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it.
I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Rach, did you proofread these?
Uh... yeah, why?Uh, nothing,
I'm sure they'll be impressedwith your excellent compuper skills.
Oh my Goood!
Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Hey, guys.Hey.
Hey hi, ladies...
uh, can I get you anything?
Did you bring the mail?Lots of responses.
Sure, we have scones left!
OK, read them to me.
Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however oh...
We have apple cinnamon...
OK Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No.
Wow!What?
Your Visa bill is huge!
Give me that!
You know, I can't believe you.Linda is so great!Why won't you go out with her again?
I don't know.
Is this still about her whole'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
No, it's not just that.
It's just- I want someone who who does something for me, y'know?
Who gets my heart pounding, who who makes me, uh...
...little playthings with yarn?
What?
Could you want her more?
Who?
Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.
Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just
Hiiii!
Hi! How are you?
We're fine, we're fine.
OK.
Shut up!
We're not- we're not saying anything.
What?
Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Thank you.
We were playing poker, alright...
There was chocolate on the three.It looked like an eight, alright?
Oh, guys, you should've seen him.
'Read 'em and weep.'And then he did.
Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Yeah, what is that?Like, some kind of guy thing?Like, some kind of sexist guy thing?Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
No, women are welcome to play.
Oh, OK, so then what is it?Some kind of you know, like, like...
some kind of, y'know, like alright,
what is it?
There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Oh, yeah, right.Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!Really.I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
No.
But you could teach us.
No.
OK, so now we draw cards.
So I wouldn't need any, right?Cause I have a straight.
Oh, good for you!Congratulations!
OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
OK, I just need two the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
No.No, uh, Phoebs?You can't- you can't do
Oh wait, I have the ten of spades!
Here!No, no.
Uh no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.
Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them.I'm going for fours.
Oh, you're...
Alright, here we go.We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites.
OOooooo!Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'?
This is a poker game.You can't serve food with more than one syllable.
It's gotta be like chips, or dip, orpretz...
OK, so at this point, the dealer...Alright, you know, we got it, we got it.
Let's play for real. Highstakes... big bucks...
Alright, now, you sure?Phoebe just threw away two jacks because theydidn't look happy...
But... I'm ready, so, just deal.
OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson.
Joey three...eight. Eight... three. Alright babe, deal thecards.
Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
About what?
About how good your cards were.
Heh... I was bluffing.
A-ha!
And what is bluffing?
Is it not another word for...lying?
OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax beforework tomorrow...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Settle what?
The Jamestown colony of Virginia.
You see, King George is giving usthe land, so...
The game, Rachel, the game.You owe us money for the game.
Oh. Right.
You know what, you guys?It's their first time, why don't we just forgetabout the money, alright?
Hell no, we'll pay!
OK, Monica?
I had another answer all ready.
And you know what? We want a rematch.
Well that's fine with me.
Could use the money.
So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all ofyour friends.
...Yeah.
Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea.
You have to put themtogether yourself, but they cost a little less.
Look, Rachel, this is poker.I play to win, alright?
In order for me towin, other people have to lose.
So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me tobe a 'nice guy,' OK?
Cause once those cards are dealt
...Yeah?
I'm not a nice guy.
Alright boys, let's eat.
Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?
You still on that?
Oh, come on.What was with that whole Black Bart speech?
"When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
You are way off, pal.
No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Um no.
See, I might've had feelings for her at one time, not anymore. I just- I...
Marcel!
Where are you going with that disc?
You are not putting that on again!
Marcel, OK- if you press thatbutton, you are in very, very big trouble.
Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Yeah, I know.
He can get really competitive.
Ha. Ha, ha.
What?
Oh, hello, kettle?This is Monica.You're black.
Please!
I am not as bad as Ross.
Oh, I beg to differ.
The Pictionary incident?
That was not an incident!
I-I was gesturing, a-and the plateslipped out of my hand.
Oh!
I got an interview!
I got an interview!You're kidding! Where? Where?
Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.
Oh, Rachel!
Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Well, what's the job?
Assistant buyer.
Oh!
I would be shopping for a living!
OK, look.
That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five.
You gotta listen to every word she says. Hi!
Is Tony Randall dead?
No.I don't think so.Why?
Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
What?Oh my God!Really?
No!That's bluffing.Lesson number one.
Let me tell you somthing,everything you hear in a poker game,It's pure crap!
Nice earrings.Thank y...
Girls, sit down.
Uh, Aunt Iris?This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter.Let's do it.
Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Alright.
I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Hi!Hey.Guys!
Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Um, ok the...
the fifth dentist caved and now they're allrecommending Trident?
Noooo the interview!
She loved me! She absolutely loved me.
We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, and-
oh, I went to camp with her cousin And, oh, the job is perfect.I can do this. I can do this well!
That's great! That's wonderful!
Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story
OK, great.You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.
Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want toplay, we completely understand.
Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game like, uh, I don'tknow... Pictionary?
Ha, ha, very funny, very funny.But I think we'd like to give pokeranother try. Shall we, ladies?
Yes, we should. I think we should.
Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?No, no, thats OK.Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Alright.Alright...
So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteenbig ones.
But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary.You guys, we gotta playthat at our regular game.
Alright, here's my $7.50.
But I think you shouldknow that this money is cursed.
What?
Oh, I cursed it.
So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
That's alright, I'll take it.Bad things happen to me anyway.
This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen
Mmm-hmmm.
Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, Ihave to win money to exert my power over women.
You know what?This is not over.
We will play you again, and we willwin, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every lastdime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever.
Hmm.
Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
So, you gals wanna hand over your money now?
That way, we don't have to gothrough the formality of actually playing.
Ooooh, that's fine.We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
OK, we done with the chit-chat?Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Hey you guys, look,the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go.
Right, OK, serious poker.
Excuse me, where are you going?
Uh... to the bathroom.
Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
I want to go to the bathroom.
Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza.
Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the storecloses at nine, so you can eat then.
That's fine.
I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Alright, Cincinnati, no blinds, everybody ante.
Yes!
.... or no.
Your money's mine, Green.
Your fly is open, Geller.
You guys, you know what I just realized?
'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.'
Coincidence?
Hey, that's that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'!
Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Yeah. Um... I'm out.
I'm in.
Me too.
Me too. Alright, whattaya got.
Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause I gotta flush.
Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes!
I won!I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what?
I think I'm gonnamake a little Ross pile.
I think that one was Ross's,and I think, Oh, that one was Ross's,
Well, I have got yourmoney, and you'll never see it...
And your fly's still open...
Ha, I made you look....
I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Monica, in or out?
I hate this game!
OK Joey, your bet.
Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guywith sores on his face.
Oh, I'm out.
Ross?
Oh, I am very in.
Chandler?
Couldn't be more out.
Me too. Rachel.
Uh, I will see you and I'll raise you.
What do you say... want to waste another buck?
No, not this time.So what'd you have?
I'm not telling.Come on, show them to me.
No..!Show them to me!
Get your hands out of there! No!Let me see! Show them!
Y'know, I've had dates like this.
Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you?
Yourwhole face is getting red little veins popping out on your temple...
Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
First of all, I'm not losing...
Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing.
Hel-lo, Rachel Green.
Mee mee, mee-mee mee.
Excuse me. It's about the job.
Barbara!Hi, how are you?
Uh-huh.
No, I understand.
Yeah.Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah oh, but you know, if-ifanything else opens up, plea
Hello?
Sorry, Rach.
Y'know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff.
Yeah OK.
Where were we?
Oh, OK... five card draw, uh...
jacks or better nothing wild, everybody ante.
Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Yes, we do.
Alright, check.
Check.
I'm in for fifty cents.
Call.
I'm in.
I see your fifty cents and I raise you...
five dollars.
I thought, uh it was a fifty cent limit.
Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks.
Does anybody have a problem with that?
Loser?
No, I fold.
What do you mean, you fold?Hey, come on!What is this? I thought that
'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
I'm in.
How many you want?
One.
Dealer takes two. What do you bet?
I bet two dollars.
OK see your two...and I raise you..
twenty.
I see your twenty,
raise you twenty-five.
See your twenty-fiveand...uh, Monica, get my purse.
Rachel, there's nothing in it.
OK, then get me your purse.
OK, here you go. Good luck.
I saw your twenty-five, and I raiseyou...
seven.
...teen!
Joey, I'm a little shy.That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
What do you need, what do you need?Fifteen.
Alright, here's ten.Here, I got five, I got five.
Thank you.Good luck.
OK, I am calling your seventeen.What do you got?
Full house.
You got me.Ahhh, that's alright.
Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.I thought we had them!
Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, youknow.
But, uh look how happy she is.
Airplane! Airport!
Airport '75!
Airport '77!
Airport '79!
Oh, time's up.
Bye... bye... BIRDIE.
Oh!That's a bird?
That's a bird!
OK, OK, it's my turn.
Go.
Uh.... bean! Bean!
The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
Yes!
That, you get? That, you get?